Crime Prevention Event Schedule: Spring 2006 - TBA

• Safety Tips   

• Fire Prevention   

• Protecting Your Self Against Date/Acquaintance Rape   

• Domestic Violence Safety Plan   

• Operation I.D.  

• Harassing Phone Calls  

• Auto Theft Prevention   

• Emergency Phone Numbers

Protecting Yourself  Against  Date/Acquaintance  Rape  

Acquaintance or Date Rape is a commonly used term to describe a serious crime known as RAPE. The term itself was created to make people aware that rape isn't only when a stranger attacks, but also when it happens between two people who know each other. This type of attacker may be a friend, work associate, classmate, neighbor or relative.

Most rapes occurring in this category are as violent as stranger rapes and usually are more traumatic since the survivor fells guilty and to blame.

REMEMBER WHATEVER THE TERM  RAPE IS RAPE!!!

If you are raped, report the crime immediately. Many victims delay too long to make apprehension and prosecution of the offender more difficult.

WOMEN:

Know your sexual intentions and limits. You have the right to say, "NO," to any unwanted sexual contact. If you are uncertain about what you want, ask the man to respect it.

MEN:

Listen carefully. Take the time to hear what the woman is saying. If you feel she is not being direct or giving you a "mixed message" ask for clarification.

WOMEN:

Communicate your feelings firmly and directly. If saying "NO"--mean it. Back up words with clear voice and body language. Some men think that drinking, dressing provocatively, or going to his room indicates a willingness to have sex.

MEN:

Use common sense. Realize that you do not have the right to force a woman to have sex just because you paid for her dinner or drinks.

WOMEN:

Stay sober on a date. A victim of rape who was intoxicated may have their credibility attacked in court.

MEN:
Don't fall for common stereotypes. When a woman says, "NO", don't assume that she really means "Yes".

WOMEN:

Don't assume that your date will automatically know how you feel, or will eventually, "get the message" without you having to tell him.

MEN:

Remember :  DATE RAPE IS A CRIME.

WOMEN:

Attend large parties with friends you can trust. Agree to look out for each other.

MEN:

Beware of your date. Having sex with someone who cannot consent because she is intoxicated, drugged, passed out or incapable of saying "NO" may make you guilty of rape.

WOMEN:

Fighting back. Most experts agree that this is a choice each woman must make herself. If you are confident, consider learning self-defense techniques that provide you with options if attacked. A self defense course such as R.A.D. will give you that confidence!

MEN:

Be especially careful in group settings. Be prepared to resist prodding and teasing from friends to commit a possible crime.

WOMEN:

Listen to your gut feelings. If you feel at all uncomfortable or think you are at risk, leave the situation immediately and go to a safe place.

MEN:

Get involved if you believe someone is at risk. If you see a female in trouble or a male friend using force or pressuring a woman, don't be afraid to intervene.

TO PREVENT DATE RAPE

• CLEARLY state your expectations and desires. Speak openly.

• ARRANGE for your own transportation when dating someone new. Pick him up for the date or meet him at the location.

• CONTROL is the key. If you or your date is impaired due to drugs or alcohol, it is much harder to be in control.

• AVOID secluded places when dating someone new.

• BEWARE of casual acquaintances such as someone you just met in a bar, or a friend of a friend. Remember, that this person is a stranger.

• ASSERT yourself with a date who is aggressive or verbally abusive. Do not let yourself be persuaded or forced into anything you don't want.

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SAFETY  PLAN 

YOUR RIGHTS!

1. I am not to blame for being beaten and abused. I have a right NOT to be abused.

2. I am not the cause of another's violent behavior. I have a right to be angry over past beatings.

3. I do not want it. I do not want my children to grow up to batter or be battered.

4. I have a right to leave this battering environment.

5. I have a right to be in a safe, non-violent home.

6. I have a right to provide a healthy environment for myself and my children.

7. I do not have to accept physical, emotional, sexual, psychological, or financial abuse.

8. I have the right to make mistakes.

9. I have the right to believe that I have a good memory.

10. I have the right to have a partner who is sexually faithful.

11. I have a right to participate in the process of making rules that will affect my life.

Domestic Violence is a National Problem

Domestic violence refers to family or household member situations where one person threatens, shoves, hits, slaps, punches, kicks, burns, forces sex with or otherwise abuses another person.

If you are a victim of domestic violence, you are not alone. A woman in the U.S. is physically assaulted by a partner once every 12 seconds. More women seek treatment in emergency rooms as a result of domestic violence than from the combination of muggings, rapes and car accidents.

THAT MAKES DV THE NUMBER ONE CAUSE OF INJURY TO WOMEN IN AMERICA!

• Women in the U.S. are in nine times more danger in their homes than they are in the street.

FACT:

• A woman in Massachusetts is killed by her partner an average of once every 14 days.

• Domestic violence crosses all economic, age, sexual orientation, racial, ethnic and religious boundaries.

• 30% of pregnant women are battered

• More babies are born with birth defects as a result of the mother being battered during pregnancy than from the combination of all diseases and illnesses from which we immunize pregnant women

• There are only 1,200 battered women shelters in the U.S., but 3,800 animal protection shelters.

THINK  SAFETY

• Have a safety plan

• Think about where to go.

• Try to save money and hide it with clothes in a safe place

• Don't isolate yourself. Let neighbors and family members know of the abuse. Tell them to call the police if they hear any disturbance.

1. Safety During an Explosive Incident

• If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or are that has access to an exit, not the bathroom or kitchen or anywhere near weapons.

• Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, elevator or stairwell would be best

• Have a packed bag ready and keep it in an undisclosed but accessible place.

• Devise a code word to use with your children, family, friends and neighbors when you need the police.

• Decide and plan where you will go.

• Use your own instincts and judgment. You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of danger.

:: You don't deserve to be hit or threatened ::

2. Safety when Preparing to Leave

• Open a savings account in your own name to establish your independence. Always increase your independence.

• Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important papers, extra clothes with someone you trust.

Remember, leaving your batterer is sometimes the most dangerous time

3. Safety in Your Home

• Change locks ASAP. Buy additional safety locks and devices to secure windows.

• Review Safety Plan with your children.

• Inform children's school or daycare who can pick up kids.

• Inform others that your partner no longer lives with you.

4. Safety with Protective Order

• Keep your protective order with you always.

• Phone Police if your partner breaks the order.

• Inform others you have a 209A

5. Safety on Job and in Public

• Decide at work who you will inform. Include W.S.C. Police if a student, faculty or staff. Provide photo is possible.

• Have someone screen your calls.

• Have safety plan to leave work. Have someone escort you to your car, bus, etc... use variety of routes to home if possible.

6. Emotional Safety

• Read books, articles and poems to help you feel stronger.

• Join a support group.

GET TO A SAFE PLACE

• Don't stay at home. Doing nothing solves nothing. Go to a friend, neighbor, or relative. Call the D.A.'s Victim Witness Division or the 24-hour Battered Women's Hotline (5080-755-9030)

CALL THE POLICE

• If you are being battered, you cannot control the situation, therefore it is important to report any assault or battery to the police.

FOLLOW THROUGH

• Get the name and number of the investigators in your case. If there is enough evidence an arrest will be made. File for 209A Order.

DON'T BELIEVE..."I'LL NEVER HIT YOU AGAIN."

• Often the batterer is unable to admit there's a problem.

CONSIDER YOUR SAFETY

• Victim Witness Advocates can help you in acquiring a 209A Order. Good for home, work, even classes at school.

• Abusive relationships are based on the mistaken belief that one person has the right to control another. This relationship is based on the exercise of power to gain and control and maintain it. The dignity of both partners is stripped away.

Using Intimidation

• Making you afraid by using looks, actions, or gestures.

• Destroying Property      

• Smashing things   

• Displaying weapons    

• Abusing pets

Using Emotional Abuse

• Putting you down         

• Making you feel guilty    

• Making you fell bad about yourself

• Making you feel guilty     

• Making you think you are crazy   

• Playing mind games.

• Humiliating you

Using Isolation

• Controlling what you do, whom you see and talk to, what you read, and where you go

• Limiting your outside involvement  Using jealousy to justify actions

Denying, Blaming, Minimizing

• Making light of the abuse and not taking your concerns about it seriously

• Saying the abuse didn't happen    Saying you caused the abuse

• Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior to other people or circumstances

Using Children

• Making you feel guilty about the children    

• Using the children to relay messages

• Using visitation to harass you  

• Threatening to take the children away

Using Male Privilege

• Making all the big decisions                 

• Being the one to define men's and women's roles

• Acting like "Master of the Castle"          

• Treating you like a servant

Using Economic Abuse

• Preventing you from getting or keeping a job        

• Taking your money

• Making you ask for money                                     

• Giving you an allowance

• Not letting you know about or have access to family income

Using Coercion and Threats

• Making and/or carrying out threats  to do something to hurt you

• Threatening to leave you, to commit suicide, to report you of fraudulent acts

• Making you do illegal things

• Threatening to "out" you

A healthy relationship is based on the belief that two people in a relationship are partners with equal rights to have their needs met and equal responsibilities for the success of the partnership. In the equality based system both partners dignity is based on equality.

Non-Threatening Behavior

• Talking so that you feel safe and comfortable expressing yourself and doing things

• Acting so that you feel safe and comfortable expressing yourself and doing things

Respect

• Listening to you non-judgmentally        

• Being emotionally affirming and understanding

• Valuing you opinions

Trust and Support

• Respecting  your right to have your own feelings, friends, activities, and opinions

• Supporting your goals in life

Honesty and Accountability

• Accepting responsibility for self    

• Admitting being wrong    

• Acknowledging past use of violence

• Communicating openly and honestly

Responsible Parenting

• Being a positive, non-violent role model for children Sharing parental responsibilities

Shared Responsibility

• Mutually agreeing on a fair distribution of work  Making family decisions together

Economic Partnership

• Making money decisions together    Making sure both partners benefit from finances

Negotiation and Fairness

• Seeking mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict   Accepting change

• Being willing to compromise

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